"She remembered her true identity, and in that moment, the entire game shifted”

I could not think of a better title to start the beginning of my blogging journey. This blog has been 5 years in the making, it just never seemed to be the right time, mentally I mean, because what can hold you back from literally writing your thoughts on a piece of paper and hitting submit…right!?! Boi was I wrong! so much has kept me from just writing this.

“She remembered who she was and the game changed” this is just so fitting for me as this was me when I was a little girl, I always knew I was going to be a girl who did whatever she wanted and achieved whatever she wanted, I felt this fire in my belly that basically told me I could change the game as and when I wanted; this does not come from a place of cockiness but a place of ambition, drive and yes, the dreaded word… Passion! It’s weird because there a handful of people in this world who truly believe that I will be that girl who chases and achieves everything she wants, they still see the fire in my belly and the need to do more, my plate is never full enough, but until I believe it, I suppose nothing can change.

I used to envision my future life all the time, I would blast tunes on my Hi-Fi (I am that old to have had one of them) and see myself being this happy, successful owning my life type of girl. I loved driving around with the roof off, air through my hair, pumping music and not giving an F about the problems in life or the things that could go wrong. In those exact moments I always knew everything would be okay, but the minute I would turn the music off, silence, and in those exact moments I realised the world doesn’t spin the same way as my world spins. Others people’s views, opinions, desires and wishes came to the forefront.

I now look back and I wonder if those thoughts was just me ‘manifesting’ what I wanted from my life, but was too young to know much about that thought process and definitely was not surrounded by people who practiced the manifesting or spiritual side of life. The not being surrounded by like – minded people at such a young age was probably the beginning of my struggles and I don’t think I was ready for the mental challenges that lay ahead of me.

I was given a good childhood, a very good one, best primary school, top grammar school surrounded by friends and family; excellent network of family friends who could open the door up for me in so many avenues; had the opportunity to do all sorts of extra clubs outside of school; but something massive was missing and it was basically having; Asian parents who worked so hard to get to where they got to and naturally wanted the best for us, but lacked emotional support and understanding of our desires and also just trusting the process. I suppose no parent textbook is given to you when you become a parent so the emotional support and understanding wasn’t massive part of our up-bringing. I understand there must be an element of raising kids in a world that is changing rapidly from their time.

Combining my education with the little understanding of where the world would be going and the upbringing I had, I felt everything would always be okay and maybe if I had that outlook from the beginning, I would have made so many different decisions in life. I definitely would not have spent all my 20’s thinking I failed at everything, yes I have massive regrets and yes I have many successes but that realisation has come to me with age. Now in my 30’s I have found happiness and understood the rules of the game of life.

Going through everything in 2020, tested my patience in so many ways, but also going through 2020 showed me the biggest lesson; which is why wait until tomorrow, as we most definitely are not promised tomorrow, so here I am writing this blog and hoping my story resonates with 1 person. This blog post is definitely written by a girl, who remembered who she was and is now changing the game.